Ranting about nothing

I had a hard day today although at the same time. Good day, I had a job interview I don't feel went well and than I was late for a hair appointment. I hate being late I just hate it. 

Than things turned for the good, met up with my mum and we went for food and spoke about how my counciling was going. She told me today that she has seen a change in my spirit and how the last 5 years just seemed lifted from off of my shoulders. I feel spritualy strong but unfortunately I'm not the confident person I use to be. 

I'm writing this outside of institute, went in enjoyed the lessons given, but when it comes to the activity I just can't seem to get myself to stay. I don't feel comfortable enough to stay, it's something I'm trying to work on but I'm not sure how (any ideas would be great) 

My whole life I've been confident and strong independent, but since my last relationship I'm not. I lost who I was and last year I was on my way to finding myself and I did I found who I am now. Unfortunately I'm a tad damaged (hence counciling) so being able to be around others is something I'm struggling with, I beat myself up because I can't do it, my mind doesn't let me, I start to freak out and leave. I custom myself from getting to know people I've become so good at one on one that I don't remember how to say hi my names Mormongirl and I'm gonna hang for a while. 

Yeah if lost it. There is a guy there who I get on with but I, not sure what his deal is one minuet he wants to hang the next he bails on me so Its hit and miss with him. Than there is another guy who I get on with in choir practise but he just kinda wonders around when we are in institute. When my sister comes I feel Little more comfortable but not enough to let myself go. 

I don't know anyone I've just found who I am and I'm trying to fix it how am I suppose to befriend people I don't even want to be around? 

Well I've done enough self pity I think for one night, sorry if started using this blog as like my online secret/not so secret journal. My bad , it hopefully won't be all dome and gloom haha

Night from sunny wales -Mormongirl 

Since I've been gone

So the last few months have been crazy to say the least, 

Went to Canada = Amazing!!  I loved it so much there I've decided at some point in my life I would like to go over and live there. The people are so friendly the towns are clean the language is clean, it was so refreshing to walk down the street and not hear swearing or insulting language. Although I would miss the mountains and hill (Canada is wayyyy flat) the way of living makes up for that. I went to a yang single adults ward while over there and it was weird! I missed the noisy children during the meeting the spirit was different, not in a bad way at all it was just different to me. I only ever gone to church with children there so it was weird for me. 

I love the food it was so good although I will say that jurky is nasty stuff, how any one can eat it is beyond me, (odd people hahaha) 

Since being back from canada I'm no longer working in the care home unfortunately if been diagnosed with OCD. It's now become. Pretty big problem in my life I had OCD tendancy's sur everyone does. But unfortunately mine have taken over my life in a big way I'm now in counciling. I really want to get a hold of this before it's too much. 

I still live currently with my sister and her family, but I'm looking to move out, realising I'm in need of my own space, I have job interviews coming up so hopefully once I have another job I'll be able to afford a flat. I loved living with my sister and her family, getting to watch my niece and nephew start to walk or to put sentences together has Been awesome. But it's now time for me to move on. 

I have been called as the first councilor In the young women's programme in my branch as well as the YSA rep, these callings do keep me busy, I love the distraction they give me. Not just that they also have helped in realise how much I need to learn patience and charity. I love my young women I love each and every one of them so much. They carry such a special sprint with them, it's catching.

I look forward to working with them this year and helping them grow and enter the temple in a weeks time to do baptisms for the dead. 

As a YSA rep I love getting together with the YSA here and just hanging out it's been such a hard time for me the last few years it's nice to be around people who get me. 

I won't say I love trials the ones I'm having the ones I had and the ones still to happen, but what i will say is this- without going thru what we go thru without the trials I our life we wouldn't humble ourself half as much to ask for help from our Heavenly Father, nd this is something I know I need to do more so in times of trail.

I love where I am in my life regardless of my problems,I love how each day I wake to do scripture study that I will be blessed for it, I love the gospel with all my heart, I sustain our prophet Thomas S.Monson to be a prophet of god I'm great full for the prophet Joseph Smith who was give the tools he needed to translate the Book of Mormon. I'm great flu for my parents who raised me to be who I am today, I'm eternally greatfull to the saviour for atoning our sins and who made it possible for us to return to our father in heaven.

long suffering

Iv entitled this post long suffering and i am very sure you will realize why in a moment,

So i have big news i have been offered a great job in Care, ill be working in a nursing home with people with dementia and other mental illnesses. I am really looking forward to this great opportunity, Altho this means me moving out of my home that i have lived in for the last 20 years of my life, to live temp with my sister and her little family. - This is going to be a challenge for me as im not so keen on her husband at the moment he has anger ishus and i dont like the way he talks to the people he loves.

Altho this will be a testing time for me im looking forward to the challenge.

Im also unfortunately going to have be realized from my calling in primary in my ward as i will not be spending all my time in my parents house due to my new work. This is such a HUGE change for me.

I have never done such a big move in my life not even going from school to college that was easy... than my next big decision was to study with the Open University. This tho is HUGE im growing up ....

Im not sure i like growing up really......

Hello i'm Still alive!

Hey everyone its been a while since iv Blogged,

Anyone seen the British Pageant? well.. let me tell you it was the most amazing thing i have ever seen. The spirit was so strong in the tent before during and after the show. From the seats my family and i had we could see Moroni sitting on top of the temple during sunset. The way it looked that night was so amazing and so beautiful. My heart swelled up so much. The pageant had me crying laughing, it truly was amazing. I saw an old friend from EFY while i was there its so nice to catch up with people i hadn't seen in a really really long time. I have had amazing experiences with the gospel the last few months my heart is always full of joy for the gospel of Jesus Christ and i don't wish it to ever go away.
           For the first time in 6 years i bore my testimony last month and i tell you i was terrified getting up there after 6 years. what do you say. how can i express all that iv been through and how much iv learnt i'm never alone how do you do that? Well i didn't do any of that i got up i told them i know prayer works and i love the gospel with all my heart, i love our Prophet Thomas S. Monson i love Joseph Smith and Amen.

That was it short and simple i told them what i knew. On Facebook i than had messages saying how lovely it was to hear from me ( as its been a while). My Old Bishop who at the time he was bishop new all about what i was going through and posted that it was short sweet simple and powerful.
My now bishop knows  a little and he said the same. You don't have to stand there and give a story of meaningful events or even tell us your life story all you have to do is stand there and tell me what you believe. I know with everything i have been through i am not alone and i know that prayers get answered simple and true.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is true i know with all my heart <3

I love being able to say i am a Member of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-Day Saints :D

Gives me chills :D hahahah

Have a good day all of you :D

xx

Back again

So a crazy few days, my mother had an operation today she home now tho, were really happy to have her back home. She is an amazing woman shes managed to create from scratch my neices temple dress shes 2 years old and her perants are getting sealed in july :) such an exciting time in our family :)  she has also managed to create wedding decorations for my other neices wedding all before her surgery so in less than a week :)

What els has happened... well I had a supprise my ex boyfriend yeah that one his new girlfriend tried adding me on facebook? Is she joking? I dont think so... so I ignored her. After everything iv been thru why would even slightly open the door to my world for him? NOT HAPPENING.

Anyway, im having so much fun reading the scriptures atm theres a challenge iv taken up,  to read them everyday for no less than 10 mins, its been amazing iv learnt so much ♥

I challenge you all to read the Book of Mormon :)

Bonkers

Been staying with my sister and her family so today we went to a fun centre for children called Bonkers! It was alot of fun my neice is 2 years old and iv never worked up as mich sweat in the gym as I did playing with her, I love it at her age so full of life, so innocent closer to the lord than most people are, she is perfect. Her little brother is only a few months old and he has an adorable smile, he lo ed playing in the ball pit with her. Children are so innocent and pure its amazing how their understanding of the gospel is, I was teaching in nursery a couple of sundays ago and I had one of the older children in there as she wouldnt go into her class, I taught a lesson on The prophet Joseph Smith and the first vision. I was later told by her perants thats she told them that she knew how to talk to her heavenly father, she told them if she goes into the trees and prayes to him like Joseph smith did they will talk to her ♥ hearing this made my heart swell with so much love for her. Children like this little girl see things so clearly about the gospel of jesus christ its when we become to concerned with worldy things that people start to pull away anf see thongs less clearly,

You cant walk with god while holding hands with satan-anonymous

This quote is very powerfull I feel like it rings true for people who know what they should be doing and yet dont. I am not perfect I am far from I know this but I try my very best to do what is right, thats all that matters as long as we try our best to serve be faithful and charitable than our saviours love will shine thru us and people will know we are diffrent and what we belive in as latterday saints :)

I'm a mormon I know it, I love it, I live it ♥♥♥♥♥♥

The sun is shining and were spending the day outside in the garden painting the new fence my dad built, had fun hanging with my family. Had to start my study today cant seem to make head way with it. I am finding it so boring at the moment i have to get cracking soon tho. hummm..... 

 

Iv been on this weight loss program since February and i was doing great at first lost aloud of weight i was 17st 13p and i weighed myself today i am now 16st 8p its great i feel so much better i go to the gym twice a week i swim as often as i can and i try to walk most places now. 2 years ago i weighed around 14st than i got with my now ex and piled on the weight. I hated it i felt so fat i tried to make myself feel better by trying to dress nice and he never complimented me he would just say yeah you look cute or nice. But thats a whole other story and to be honest sometimes i think maybe i should write about it and how iv pulled through but i don't know if i should ..... My weight loss on the other hand is going great as you can see im determine to get down to im thinking 14-13 st id be happy with that. Im happy with the way i look now iv learnt to love myself without someone in my life. 

But i have done well and cant wait to fit into my dress for my nieces wedding :D 

I think maybe one time i blog i will write about the last relationship i was in so that if there is a girl out there who is reading this who is in the same kinda relationship i was in, Support goes a long way :) and if i could help someone by sharing my experience... Ill think about it and let you know :) 

HOPE YOUR ALL HAVING A GREAT DAY!! :D